Abstract
The taboo around researchers’ sexualities and sexual experiences in ethnographic field
work persists. We found that our sexuality, alongside physical and emotional
experiences, were pivotal to how we shaped research relations and processes. This
evokes questions around how we reflect on our positionalities and the knowledge we
generate. We argue that ethnographic accounts are strengthened by inclusive reflexivity,
that acknowledges sex and sexuality. This article presents empirical material from field
experiences on South African game farms. These spaces tend to represent a particular
image of wilderness, constructed according to patriarchal and racist hierarchies, which
heighten contestations over belonging. As such they become spaces of violence,
seduction, and power, and we found ourselves (neither minds nor bodies) unable to
detach from these spatial and emotional dynamics. Our strategies for ‘being in the field’
came to evolve around negotiations of power, sex and complicity. The emotional
dynamics made us feel confused, bewildered and sometimes scared. We seek to share
our experiences and feelings, and to contribute to discussion on the role of sexuality in
ethnographic research, and the epistemological, methodological and practical advantages
of reflecting on the ways we engage in the field.