Abstract
M.A.
Most people learn communication and behavioral skills in their families, which
means the learning that takes place in the family of origin will affect how children
learn to deal with conflict in adult life. People form the basis of their coping skills
in early childhood, either through modeling or cognitive awareness, or in the case
of inappropriate behaviour, through distortions. This means that communication
skills and conflict styles that are acquired early in childhood might be perpetuated
when these children become adults and marry.
Several studies have been conducted on conflict styles and the family of origin.
However, very little is available on the application of conflict styles learnt in the
family of origin and the impact they may have in the marriage of progeny
children. This pilot study attempts to address this aspect.
This investigation examines whether the conflict styles experienced or perceived
in the family of origin have any bearing on how progeny children deal with conflict
in their own marriages. A quantitative pilot study of fourteen couples was
undertaken in which each couple completed two questionnaires. The first one
related to how the couples themselves deal with conflict, the second focussed on
how they perceive that their parents dealt with conflict.
The theoretical model used to describe the structure of the family and its
interconnectedness is systems theory. Social cognitive learning theory is
examined in terms of how behaviour is learnt and attachment theory examines
different types of attachment and the hypothesised resultant behaviours.
The results of the study indicated that there was a significant difference between
the couples’ and their parents’ conflict styles, on some of the variables
measured. The differences recorded were in terms of how couples deal with
conflict in their marriage, as opposed to how they perceived their parents to deal
with conflict in their own marriages. It can be hypothesised that the conflict styles
couples perceived their parents to use did impact on the styles they used in their
own marriage. In some cases however, they felt that they improved on the style
perceived, instead of simply perpetuating the cycle they had experienced.