Abstract
Grief is a universal and complex experience shaped by the dominant narrative of grief, which dictates how grief should be experienced and expressed. This narrative typically defines "normal" grief as a linear process with a clear beginning, progression, and resolution, where grievers are expected to detach from the deceased, process the loss, and return to a pre-loss state while adhering to socially accepted expressions of mourning. It functions as a performative script, prescribing how grief should be displayed. Those who deviate from these expectations often face stigmatisation and social invalidation. The "Goldilocks standard of grief" reinforces these rigid expectations by positioning "appropriate" grieving within a narrow range—not too much, not too little, but just right. As a result, grievers may internalise these pressures, feeling compelled to suppress or curate their grief to align with social norms. This disconnect between lived experience and societal expectations renders the dominant grief narrative inherently disenfranchising.
This study explores disenfranchised grief, which lacks social acknowledgment, validation, or support. While typically linked to stigmatised deaths, this study demonstrates that disenfranchisement can also result from the ongoing, non-linear nature of grief, which contradicts the expectation of a structured grieving process. Using analytic autoethnography, this study examines how grief identity is shaped by societal narratives following the loss of a loved one to a non-stigmatised death. Reflecting on my own loss and that of four participants, key themes emerged through Reflexive Thematic Analysis. Findings revealed that disenfranchised grief can occur even after a non-stigmatised death, challenging the assumption that disenfranchisement is limited to certain losses.
Both my personal story and the experiences of four participants give voice to the painful reality of loss, where grief is often met with avoidance, impatience, and societal pressure to "move on." Feelings of invisibility, isolation, and frustration arose in attempts to conform to social expectations. When these standards could not be met, the dominant grief narrative was internalised, leading to guilt and shame. However, acts of resistance, such as maintaining bonds with deceased loved ones, helped reclaim space for grief in a society that often seeks to silence it. By embracing vulnerability, this study challenges the dominant grief narrative, disrupting societal taboos surrounding death and bereavement, breaking silences, and amplifying disregarded voices.